Sunday, 28 August 2011

Suicide, Depression & Staying Strong

This may seem somewhat of a strange topic for me to cover on my blog. People will see that I tend to write upbeat and positive blogs about family, friends, pets, loved ones and trying to achieve your goals and ambitions. I like being positive. Not in that annoying way where some people are ridiculously happy for no apparent reason. They should be banned from going out in public!

I have been out and about talking about my book with people and on many forums, groups and websites I see a similar discussion about bullying, losing loved ones, losing pets, not having jobs or qualifications for jobs, being alone, breaking up with girlfriend and just very negative posts from people that are really down in the dumps, depressed and in some cases suicidal.

I myself suffered from depression, suicidal tendencies, and I had a lot of hate in me. This has been a running theme since I was in my late teens, about 19. I am not going to bitch about my reasons or troubles, as I think the majority of people have it a lot worse than me. I did work with suicidal people a lot during my early twenties, when I taught martial arts.

Back then I wrote books on philosophy and techniques to improve your lifestyle and replacing negatives with positives. This meant I had hundreds of people sending me e-mails and asking me questions. I think ninety-nine percent of suicidal tendencies stem from a feeling of “Lost”, now that is easy to say “Nope!” I know I did. The thing is when you break down the core reasons of why you feel this way, the why’s, how’s, whose and what not’s, you come to the conclusion of being lost or alone or both.

I just want to do a little technique that helped me take my first step out of feeling suicidal. This does not cure depression, this isn’t even a cure. It is just something to take a step forward. It is a very easy thing; basically I want you to write down five things that make you happy. They shouldn’t be big things or things out of your control, and losing control is a big issue with depression/suicide, so we want to take back control.

So, here are the five things that I wrote aged twenty-two (I will allow a brief laugh, but it cannot go on longer than a minute!) My five things were “Walking my dogs”, “Candles”, “Twilight Sky’s”, “Hot Baths” and “Music”. This is called focusing on the positives, one of several techniques (that I will be posting over the next few weeks) to help you move forward.

I will try to keep this short, as I don’t want to steal your time, but why did I pick those five things? I love my dogs, clear to see because I write novels about my old dogs and current dogs, and walking them got me out the house and made me happy. I also like adventure, so I would try to take them someplace new every day. I love candles, the smell of them, and the flickering flames and when chilling out to music, it relaxes me and helps me escape. I love hot baths, as I train hard with martial arts and that eases my muscles, combine music and candles and for 30 minutes nothing else matters. Twilight Sky, the name of my martial art style, I would sit on a hill in the forest and watch the sun go down and the night creep in. I love that moment between day and night, between darkness and light.

I made sure I did these five things every single day, as they just gave me something to look forward too, made me a little happier and when your mind is in a slightly different place your problems don’t seem so bad and you can think up other ways of dealing with them. So, I hope that if you are feeling down, depressed or lower than this. I hope you will try this technique; you have nothing to lose and hopefully you will have a brief moment of happiness in your day.


  1. Great tip! I suffer from depression and started doing a gratitude journal, which has helped a ton. It's good to keep in mind the little positive things in life that make it worth living :)

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  2. Thank you for having the courage to post about your experiences with suicidal tendencies and depression. Stigma is often attached to people and it is unfair.
    I've blogged about my own battle with depression and the steps I took to get out of it, and the things I still do to make sure I stay out of it. I've never been suicidal, but my brother's biological sister committed suicide. I had a friend who tried. I believe that by talking about our experiences, hopefully others won't feel so alone.
    Great suggestions on how to live in the moment doing what makes you happy and feel alive. My favorite time of day is midnight when the stars are out and the sky is clear. I lay on my deck and look between the stars, seeing the space between. Makes me feel connected to something other than myself.

  3. Simon Smith-Wilson4 September 2011 at 08:14

    I do love doing that too. I think that is the key really. Slowly replacing the negatives with positives. Sometimes the negatives are not actually that big, but when you have so many in lots of different aspects of you life. It does chip away at you.

  4. Times are tough and there are so many pressures on us. I can relate to what you say. My Grandmother used to say "Count your blessings." Your method is a form of that. I'll share my list since you shared yours. (: I love watching raptors soar and any form of wildlife, the majesty of nature, beautiful wood, my hubby and reading or writing. I also like you as a twitter friend. That makes me happy!

  5. @carpetino here. Thank you for sharing. I am not very good with putting pen to paper, or rather typing how I feel. I have suffered with depression, had suicidal thoughts, and also lost my sister to suicide. I take every day as it comes, but without doubt my pets make my days so much more bearable. I'm not saying I'm suicidal every day, but to unconditional love from a dog can turn a low day, or even just moment, in a high moment.

  6. Think you are brave to share your experiences .
    I've thankfully not had depression in a bad way but I've had tough times. I have also had body image problems all my life and been bullied.

  7. Love this post, Simon!!Great suggestions on lifting one's mood. I love candles, too, and have several in different sizes on the table on my deck. I like to light them all in the early evening, twilight, and enjoy the fresh air. Now it's too cold. I also love the early morning, watching the sun rise. I was feeling a bit low today. Thank you for making me feel better.